I remember the day my new beginning started to end. It was August 26th, 1998. My youngest was only a little over 2 months old. It was the day that Ryder truck pulled up at 911 Morris Drive, Copperas Cove, Texas. (911 should have given me a clue). After a long, long straight through drive (with 3 kids) from Rockledge to the shack he rented us in Texas, and after unloading the truck with a houseful of belongings, I had to clean that shack and remove some of the stuff left there by one of his friends who was mooching of us. They actually had a bench seat from a car as a couch. Nice. He was hungry so I made him and the kids something to eat. Big mistake! The boys enjoyed their eggs, toast and grits while my baby girl nursed. However, he didn't like the way his eggs were cooked! The name calling started! "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" This is when I knew I had definitely made a mistake marrying him! And lets not forget the 3 foot stack of porn mags (his major addiction that I knew nothing about) sitting in the bedroom closet. The man I thought I married was nowhere to be found!!
A few months later when we moved that whole house to another on base (that actually had screens and equipped with heat and air, without the floors falling through) in one day, and nursing my daughter, I was physically attacked for the first time. Choke slammed into a wall because I wouldn't get drunk (nursing, remember) and give him oral sex. What a wonderful husband! I did, however, manage to give him a bloody nose. His response? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME!!?? This was in September/October 1998
Christmas morning comes, we got up before the kids, I laughed at the GIANT (and I do mean GIANT) underwear he told his sister to send me as a gift. The name calling, screaming, and violence showed up again. "YOUR AN UNGRATEFUL BITCH WHO DOESN'T DESERVE CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!!" All the while I was being choked slammed into the dining room wall. Turns out, he didn't get me anything and the guilt got to him. Figures. Oh, and that no gift tradition never died. I did occassionally get flowers after a beat down though. How sweet.
One day, my middle child (then 6 or 7) had a quarter in his hand. Cary decided he wanted it, so he proceded to scream at my son for a few minutes. I'd had enough! I took the quarter and threw it! In a flash I was on the floor screaming in pain! He'd smacked me so hard on the side of my head he busted my eardrum! All in front of my 3 babies! When I looked up, my oldest (then 10 or 11) was standing over me protecting me with a baseball bat!! All I could think was what the hell am I putting my babies through by staying??!! I had nowhere else to go.
Similar events happened while living for 5 years 2 months and 1 day in Germany. I finally went to his unit. They wouldn't help. Thank you so much 47th FSB! You suck as much as he does. Eventually he got kicked out of the army. but only because he was 100 lbs overweight. They didn't care about us, he didn't so why should they, right?
Everytime he would deploy for wargames in the woods, he would put our account $800-$1000 negative so I couldn't leave while he was gone! One time I came back to Florida and went on a mother's day cruise with my mom, sis, grandmother, sis in law, and niece. (My mom paid for all of it) That pissed he off so much he slept with a stripper in Sofia, Bulgaria and contracted an STD!!
Countless beat downs, his online and IRL cheating (cybering) and I sit here waiting for the other shoe to drop. Porn, porn porn, that's all he cares about!
Shortly after moving to Titusville in 2005, he murdered my cat, my only friend! My dear sweet Angel, in the dryer. He swears it was an accident,....the kids and I disagree!!! As I said to him, make sure Angel isn't in the dryer.....5 minutes later...."was she in the dryer?.....uh ....no" The two youngest kids found her the next morning, his only response? "Thats why the clothes smelled funny"
On December 21, 2007 I was raped and sodomized by my wonderful loving husband. That was the last day I put up with it!!!!!
During our seperation, he's been Baker-acted and faked a heart attack. In 2008? I hit him with my truck while the two younger ones and I tried to escape his grasp. He wasn't going to let us leave! The Titusville Police did NOTHING!!
Back in June he came to me crying after I picked him up at the airport, "Please don't take my kids away from me" (mind you they were already packed to go stay with him for 2 weeks). He kept trying to hug on me, even asked me for sex when he visited. (jeez) The very next day, he took my father's car (his dad didn't even know he was in town, and probably wouldn't give a shit either) with some BS of having to go to the store. Gone for over 8 hours! Turns out he was off with some internet thing that we determined 5 years before when he got caught cybering with her that she was probably a hooker. He barely acknowledged the kids while he was here. They spent 1 night with him and begged to come home. He has fought me more about the car than he has the kids. LOSER!! He agreed to sit down with my Pastor and I and come to a marrital settlement agreement. He signed a paper agreeing to what would go in the divorce.
In October 2010, I got a phone call from him crying that his last internet girlfriend left him under a bridge. Well, there's no way in hell he was staying with me. Of course, me being me, and not the cold heartless bitch I let everyone think I am, told him to call my dad, since he screamed at me for suggesting that he call his dad. Once again, he stayed at MY dad's, playing with lots of girls online, taking my dads car to go meet them and trashing my dads house. Well, one hoochie finally said yes to him (in his words, as long as he's getting it wet he doesn't care where) so he left my dads and stayed with her. We got together in a parking lot in front of several witnesses to sign the divorce papers, we went over everything, he read his copy and he signed it! Now he claims it was forged. What the dumbass doesn't know is that I have it allllll on video!!!!!!!! All this was done in front of a notary!! Not to mention I have him on tape admitting to years of abuse and rape!!!!! So while he sits on his tax exempt $7000+ a month, we sit here on food stamps and medicaid. BUT..."I" have the love and respect of my children, and THAT is priceless!!!! HE has nothing! HE IS NOTHING!!
I used to cry alot, I don't anymore. I used to scream in my sleep and the kids would have to shake me awake, it's been awhile for that too. The kids want NOTHING to do with him anymore!! I AM NOT HIS VICTIM! I AM DETERMINED TO BE HAPPY! HE CANNOT AND WILL NOT MANIPULATE ME ANYMORE!!
I have found my happiness and that threatens him, he just can't handle it and doesn't want me and the kids to be happy! I love Bobby with everything I have, he makes me smile on the inside! Bobby loves and respects me. I plan to spend FOREVER with him!!! CARY CAN NOT STOP US!!!!
I am GRATEFUL to have a loving and caring man in my life who loves ME and MY kids!! And in 1 year has been more of a father to these kids then Cary was in 14 years!!
We ALL have to answer to a higher power! And I KNOW that God has sent all of these wonderful people into my life for a purpose!
GOOD RIDDANCE CARY JAME COX, JR!!!!!!!!!!!!